I’ve known Steve for, shit almost 20 years now. What? How long has Pearl Jam been a band? Growing up is pretty cool. Steve and Cathy’s Wedding was the best. We will see if any of your motherfuckers can top that. Shit was lavish. I remember Rob Money’s wife calling me a pussy for only drinking Coors Light at an open bar wedding. You know what… she is right!
Steve and I went to a tiny Catholic School up Wahiawa Heights. Our Lady of Sorrows. Dan used to go there, but just to the church. He went to Wahiawa Intermediate and had to sprint home after school as soon as the bell rung, while throwing blow pops at the mokes to distract them from killing his haole ass. “I’m coming out of the boooooooooooothah” When I die, I’m going to ask God if I can watch footage of that. Dirty D, the real McLovin. Yeah, Steve was this awesome kid. He was always tagging along with his older brother, and making jokes. I remember him coming up to me at recess once, and telling me to push the robot buttons on his shirt. I did and he made these robotic squeaks, then said something along the lines of, “I’m from New York I got cancer” in a dead on Brookyn accent. It cracked me up so hard that I pushed the buttons again, and he did it again, then I did it once more, and he said something in a really convincing gay voice. Mind you Steve was like 8. I was 10. Holy shit, I was 10. Hardcore since I was 10. Our Lady of Sorrows were good days. If you could sink a three pointer on those rims, with 50 filipino kids on you, you had something. There was no way you were taking it to the hole. It was like the opening scene in Scarface with all the cuban prisoners going crazy on the court. Mad heads. Damn, why they ain’t give us more balls to play with at recess? I remember fighting dudes at recess we were so bored. And why the heck did we have to skip on the blacktop instead of running? Was it gonna make that much of a difference if we ate it skipping or running? We were already wearing cardigan sweaters, how gay can we get? We had to save all our foil to make a foil ball, and play smear the queer.
During my Junior year at Maryknoll, while chilling in advisory, sitting on the desks, Mrs. Morey telling me to get the fuck off, I remember a familiar face adorning the class. It was the handsome young Bruno. He was at Maryknoll for freshmen orientation. He looked pimp, he had hair like Atreyu and green eyes like sparkingly emralds, shimmering emralds, eyes like jolly ranchers. All the bitches love Steve’s hair and eyes. Can you blame them? C’mon look at your eyes, your eyes suck. Steve has hair like Tom Cruise in the Last Samuri. I own that dvd.
Few years later, Steve would be the backbone of the I’m gonna say one of the funner bands in Hawaii, I think so. Fun to be in. Trav, Demetri, Steve, c’mon? Awesome right. Most fun I’ve ever had being in a band. Steve kills the drums, kills. He would pick me up from UH for practice, and we would drive over the Pali and listen to Helloween and Iron Maiden. I’m sorry for sucking at guitar Steve, that’s why we hired the kid. Now Steve is married to a righteous lady, has a sweet pad, a muppet-like dog, he makes sims games for cell phones, and has outstanding faith. Motherfucker has knowlege. He is a man, and he is holding it down. He is the best example of being awesome, all around. He is well rounded in awesomeness. I really should be doing work.